If you are like most people, you want a partner. Maybe you're not ready for
marriage or sharing an apartment, but each of us has a desire to complete our
lives with a special person. And I don't mean just friends.
While friendships are wonderful and special in their own way, they cannot
replace the human desire to pair off and form couples. The need for these
pairings is not simply biological or even hormonal (although the sex drive
does play a major role); it's emotional, psychological, and even spiritual.
If given the choice, most people do not want to live their lives without
romantic entanglements. And you are probably one of those people, or else
why would you be reading this book?
This book was designed to help you improve your dating lifestyle, to help
you find potential partners and to keep the fun in your dating routine. I also
included some very important safety guidelines that can help keep you out of
dangerous situations.
Whether you are male or female, this book will assist you as you try to form
the perfect couple.
Best Wishes & Happy Dating!
How to Meet Your Next Great Date
Probably the question I'm most asked by singles is "Why am I not meeting
anyone new?" And my response is always the same: "Because you aren't
looking in the right places."
While it may be romantic to picture the guy or girl of your dreams crossing
your path via the hand of destiny, in truth no relationship is just going to fall
into your lap. You have to go out and look for it.
Think of it as a job search. If you want to land a great position, you can't sit
at home by the phone waiting for a company to call you and say, "I heard
through the grape vine that you were available. We want to hire you now!"
That scenario is probably not going to happen, so instead you market
yourself. You look through the newspaper, you send out resumes, you
complete applications, you network, and you market yourself. And you don't
give up when the first or the 50th interview doesn't land you a job. You have
to persevere and explore every potential source of job leads.
The same is true if you want to find someone to date. If you're like most
people, you have only uncovered the tip of the iceberg when it comes to your
search. Now it's time to go below the surface and unearth the rest.
Friends
No, I'm not suggesting that you date your friends, although some of the
strongest marriages began as friendships, but I am suggesting that you let
them fix you up.
Remember that your close friends know the real you (or at least they should)
better than anyone else, except your family. They know what music you like,
what movies you've seen, and probably how you act after you've had a few
too many mixed drinks. Technically, no one should be more qualified to help
you find a soul mate.
Work
You probably spend at least eight hours of every day stuck in a place just
teaming with available members of the opposite sex. Maybe you've heard the
expression, "Don't dip your pen in company ink," and in most cases that's a
motto to live by.
But if you work in an office building, there are probably dozens of
companies around you full of eligible employees who are not considered
"company ink." If you work in retail, you are meeting hundreds of potential
dates every week and you don't even have to create excuses for making
conversation with them! If you work in the service industry, part of your job
is probably networking, so why not use the phone numbers of potential
clients to land a dinner date for "business"? Not to mention the vendors,
postal workers, and delivery people who come into your company daily
Remember, you don't have to date your co-workers or your boss in order to
find romance on the job. You just need to look beyond your cubicle.
School
Remember high school? Wasn't finding a date easier then? After all, you
mixed with hundreds of available singles every day.
While college isn't quite as simplistic, it does give you a golden opportunity
to mingle with a wide-variety of mostly single co-eds. College also has an
advantage over those rambling locker-filled halls of your youth: these
students are career-oriented and goal-focused. If your idea of a dream partner
includes someone capable of holding down a decent job and being able to
talk about books without their eyes glazing over, your local college might be
a great place to look.
"I'm too old to go back to college," you might think.
"I can't afford the tuition," may be another thought.
Never fear, I'm not talking necessarily about attending college as a full-time,
or even part-time, student (although that's an excellent choice). Some universities and colleges also offer non-credit classes to people in their
community for a reasonable price. These classes cover a wide-variety of
topics, such as photography, computer programs, or career- development and
generally require no previous knowledge of the subject. Part of the charm of
these classes is that you cannot only meet someone who shares some of your
interests, but you can also improve yourself at the same time.
If you don't have a college in your area, many schools offer similar services.
Community
Are you interested in making a difference in your city while you are scoping
out the singles? Then community-service might be your answer.
Community-service isn't just for white-collar criminals. It's also a wonderful
way for you to get involved in something, to meet new people, and to do
something you're really proud of
Take CPR classes, walk dogs for an animal shelter, tutor troubled kids after
school, or distribute food at a soup kitchen - these are just a handful of
community-service possibilities. You could help with fundraisers, join
committees, develop public awareness for any of the hundreds of valuable
organizations that work hard to make life better for people all around the
country. And in the end, you (and hopefully a new "friend") can look back at
what you've done and feel a true sense of accomplishment
Bookstores
In case you've been hiding in a cave for the last half-decade, you already
know that bookstores are "in" While shopping for books used to be enough
to classify you as an undatable nerd, now only the coolest, hippest people are
to be found among the trendy bookshelves of enormous, chain bookstores.
Bookstores have always been a nice place to meet new friends and lovers.
After all, it's easy to start up a conversation with someone: just ask him or
her what book they are reading. Now with the addition of cozy cafes, bookstores have become a socially acceptable gathering place.
So find a book, order an espresso, and smile flirtatiously over the top of your
pages at every attractive, interesting member of the opposite sex who passes
your way.
Personal Ads
Whether you find them online or in your local newspaper, personal ads can
be another avenue for your romantic searches. While you've probably heard
horror stories about personal ads, you can easily avoid a negative experience
by keeping in mind the golden rule of dating: Everyone lies about
something. The lie may be as simple as saying they are 25 when they are
really 30 or as disastrous as lying about their marital status.
The best advice is to take everything you read in those ads with a grain of
salt; most were written deliberately to get your attention, not to reveal, and to
have a good time.
Chat Rooms
While chat rooms are a legitimate form of meeting new people, you must
proceed with extreme caution! Always remember that you do not know
anything about your fellow chatters except what they tell you and rarely do
they reveal the whole truth.
Many people do become addicted to the imaginary community found in a
chat room. The conversations and the flirtations boost their egos and add
spice to what, in some cases, is a rather unpleasant reality. Go into a chat
room leery of these individuals.
With that in mind, you should also stick to people in your vicinity.
Chat
rooms can give you an opportunity to meet people from all over the world,
but long distance relationships rarely work out. You'll have better luck with
people you can have a relationship with outside of a computer screen.
Online Dating Sites
With the Internet becoming a hotbed of activity for both personal and
commercial ventures, it should not surprise you that there are a plethora of
web-based dating sites.
These sites use chat rooms, message boards, and e-mail to create a
community atmosphere, which allows site members to interact with one
another in a more relaxed manner.
Unlike online personal ads or ordinary chat rooms, the sites include detailed
profiles (usually including photos) of members so you know more about
whom you are communicating with.
Most sites also allow you to browse or search the profiles for people in
certain geographical locations or with certain interests. The majority of these
sites offer a free trial followed by a membership fee; so only those serious
about meeting people generally join.
Overall, if you are interested in finding dates from the privacy of your home,
online dating sites are your best choices and offer a much better bet than chat
rooms or online personal ads.
Dating Services
If you're still having trouble finding possible dates, you may want to
consider professional assistance. A dating service will help put you in
contact with their other clients who may have similar interests or who may be
looking for someone who meets your description. Many include an extensive
interview process and possibly involve a videotaped message to interested
singles.
One of the best reasons to use a dating service is that, unlike with some
methods, you go into the situation with more background information about
the other person. Most reputable services do checkout the information
provided by their clients.
Also keep in mind that while a dating service can help you find a date, they
can't make it a successful one. You're still in charge of the hard part.
